Feast Day of St Thomas
Dec 21, 2022
Reflection by Ed Hochnedel
Today we celebrate the Feast Day of St. Thomas. He is venerated not because he earned the epithet of “doubting Thomas”, but because he took his ministry well beyond the Roman Empire into India where he was martyred. He established churches there, and many referred to themselves as Thomas Christians. Sadly, I knew little of St Thomas other than the few references in the Gospel.
As a disciple, he must have been an integral part of Jesus’s ministry. He had forged relationships with his fellow disciples as they traveled with Jesus. They were the original “band of brothers” with Jesus at the center. They all marveled at and struggled to make sense of Jesus’ miracles. They stood with him as he confronted the religious authorities. They were amazed and confounded at his parables. So, the question remains: what event was so powerful and disruptive that Thomas began to question and “doubt”?
The astonishing mural by Leonardo da Vinci, “The Last Supper” I think holds a clue. I had always understood the scene as a portrayal of Jesus sharing a farewell dinner with his disciples.
But da Vinci captures that moment when Jesus reveals he will be betrayed by one of the twelve – one of them! The room is thrown into disarray. Bread is scattered about the table. The faces of the twelve reveal a range of feelings: confusion, anxiety, anger, suspicion, vulnerability, loss and contempt (in the face of Judas). The hope and promise of the Incarnation are coming to an end with Jesus” betrayal, arrest, and crucifixion. The certainty of the past collides with the reality of the present moment and reveals to them the uncertainty of their future without Jesus. Jesus’ constancy is now in question. As Thomas had said to Jesus, “how will we know the way”? Not just Thomas, but all must approach the reality of his loss. They face the challenge of internalizing Jesus as a constant presence in their lives as must we.
However, the story of St. Thomas is more than that of the apostle who had the timidity to question Christ’s divinity. If we simply dismiss him as the “doubter”, then we pay little attention to how those disruptive forces proved to be the catalyst for Thomas’ as he struggled to find his way without Jesus at his side.
But his journey began with a demand for answers and evidence. As the disciples tried to describe their first encounter with the resurrected Christ, Thomas famously stated that until he could see Jesus’ palms and the wound in his side, he would not believe. We must keep in mind, though, that Thomas’ world had been turned upside down. His statement to his friends and disciples then is not surprising. They had had the advantage of the resurrected Christ being in their presence, but Thomas had not been there. I think the events of the Last Supper must have been so traumatizing for Thomas that he must have felt terribly lost and alone if not abandoned. He was simply unable to believe what he was being told as his faith had been challenged by the extraordinary and traumatizing events at the last supper.
And then Thomas is present when Christ appears the second time and he touches the scars in his palm and side. Brian Shelton in his “Quest for the Historical Apostles” states, “Thomas’ dilemma is (finally) redeemed when he utters one of the most Christological confessions of all the apostles, ‘My Lord and my God’. At that transformative moment, St. Thomas’ faith deepened and was given new life.
It is tempting to think that St. Thomas’ spiritual transformation was complete at that moment. I think though that transformation is not a “one-and-done” affair. Nor does it assume a linear trajectory with an expected outcome. Moreover, transformation is not a solitary event but rather one shared with others. Throughout our life, events conspire that would challenge our faith. But as with Thomas, they can become the catalyst for a deeper faith. Our faith is continually challenged and transformed throughout our life and beyond.
St. Thomas demonstrates to us that with Jesus, there is room for questions and doubt. He acknowledges that there are those with whom “seeing is believing”. But there are those for whom “hearing is believing”. One is not superior to the other. We all find faith by very diverse routes.
Finally, I would like to return to da Vinci’s “Last Supper”. Da Vinci invites us into the room and challenges us to find ourselves in the in the faces of the apostles as they respond and react to the tension and brokenness as Jesus declares he will be betrayed by one of them. We see Peter clutching a dagger, and of all the apostles, Thomas stands the closest to Jesus – raising his hand as if to question. Despite the raw emotions of the moment, they each found their own path through their desolation into a faith that grew stronger and deeper.
The challenge for us is to delve into the “where and who” we are in this scene – keeping in mind we may be more than one and the “where and who” we are may change as our faith journey continues. And as St. Thomas did, be able to stand and say from the heart, “My Lord and my God”.